Ann Summers

I’m a confident, young (ish) man of the world so strolling in to Ann Summers with the missus wasn’t a problem. Just needing to pick up a few bits while on the high street and then of to grab some dinner. Here we are, side by side, browsing, feeling at ease with the friendly staff and… What the fuck is a Double Intruder!?!
Fellas — know your role here. There is no taking charge. You walk behind the woman, holding the bags and just offer whatever limited understanding you may have when asked for it as most of these conversations are invite only. Of course, feel free to make some suggestions but always bow to superior knowledge.
Lasses — Damn, you’re filthy. Not to mention difficult to please by the looks of things. An array of instruments which have appearances ranging from comedy weapons to medieval torture devices, there are all sorts here to get you where you want to go in life and baffle the men while doing so. And, of course, the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and all associated accessories are flogged here too.
On a personal note I thought the whole place would’ve been a touch more elegant but perhaps I just overestimated the sophistication of a ladies sex shop. Still more sophisticated than I am, however. But lets be honest, if I see a large rubber cock swinging around I’m going to snigger, regardless of who can see.
An almost bewildering range of garments, lubes, DVDs, accessories (too various to mention) and hands on advice is readily available here. Oh, and more batteries than a Duracell factory.
TTFN,
Ian