The Hoste

We stayed here for one night for a quick, unplanned beach getaway. A good friend of mine loves this pub for a weekend away, so we took the advice. This place is good with a potential to become great; unfortunately, a few things bring it down. Still, it’s undervalued with my 3 stars rating.
We checked in with the very friendly reception desk, and the woman who assisted us seemed genuinely interested in our enjoyment of not only the hotel, but the town and the surrounding areas, offering suggestions for things to do. We were taken to our room, a junior suite in the spa building across the parking lot from the main entrance. The room was gorgeous! The room was hugely spacious with a massive four-​post bed and a very nice seating area with a seemingly vintage leather couch. The room had a hugely unique African safari-​style theme, which I found interesting. But here’s where we discovered our first downside: the windows. Soundproofing was very poor, and as staff members shuttled rolling carts and trash bins from one building to the other, we heard every movement. This included waking us up earlier than we would have liked and keeping us up fairly late, too. We still managed a good night’s rest, but it took away from the experience.
Stepping back a bit, we had dinner in the restaurant. We arrived for our 7pm reservation to discover that the staff had somehow erroneously confused our reservation with another. They straight-​up panicked! We were asked to have a seat while it was sorted out; however, once we were seated, we discovered only one other couple in the dining room at the time, so I have no idea what caused the panic. It was odd and shows they don’t adapt well.
Now, here’s where things get a bit strange for me. The dining room we were in was not wired for sound, so, someone (I don’t know who, but presumably the restaurant manager and hopefully not an ambitious staff member) was playing music from an iPod attached to a portable speaker.
I know, you think I’m being too harsh, but bear with me.
This portable speaker, in the posh restaurant, was blasting an old Maroon 5 album on repeat.
It killed the ambiance completely. On the one hand, the staff is very well trained in proper service, while on the other they apparently can bring an iPod and play whatever crap music they want. What the hell? How has nobody noticed this and rectified the issue? Is this how Maroon 5 gets royalties now? Eventually, as the restaurant got busier, the staff forgot about the iPod and we were mercifully spared a third run-​through of Songs About Jane. If you don’t want to shell out cash for a speaker system, fine, but at least hide the speaker and create a carefully curated playlist. Hell, I’ll volunteer to do it for you for free.
The food was okay, but nothing special. I did love the house Bordeaux, but it had been a few very challenging months since I had a glass of wine, so I would have probably enjoyed even white zinfandel at that point.
The next morning, we work for breakfast and experienced another oddity. If you a book a room with breakfast included, you still only receive a continental offering. If you want a scrambled egg, it will cost you an extra 5 quid. I don’t consider myself a cheap guy, but, I paid £225 to stay here. For that price, you can’t throw in a poached egg? Come on, guys.
Ultimately, I almost feel like this place is trying to give its notoriously posh Chelsea visitors exactly what they’ve come to expect from other hotels, and, in offering these things in name only, revealing a collective lack of thoroughness to the more observant guest. The hotel is nice, but it’s niceness is only an inch deep. Dig deeper and it spoils quickly, but I guess it’s good enough to fool the aloof West End crowd on a warm summer’s day.

We were warned before visiting that Burnham Market was the ‘Chelsea’ of Norfolk, so we should perhaps have anticipated that a pot of tea wasn’t going to come cheap! However, when on holiday, it’s rather nice to have a treat — and afternoon tea at The Hoste Arms is a real treat. The scones were warm and delicious and some people sitting at tables around us had the full works including bite-​sized sandwiches and cakes — all of which looked as delicious as they no doubt tasted.
The Hoste Arms describes itself as ‘a 35-​bedroom hotel with, five different restaurant areas and 80 staff’. It also has a full bar and is a large, rambling place with loads of cosy nooks and comfortable sofas where one can find a quiet corner surrounded by quaint artifacts. We sat out in the sunny ‘Tranquil Garden’ and found the service in that remote outpost somewhat slow! Perhaps one or two more staff wouldn’t go amiss.

I used to live near this village and spent a lot of time here when I was growing up. It was always a friendly place but unfortunately this is no longer the case and I found the Hoste Arms to be the worst place I have been in a very long time. I went here with family for a lunch time coffee and something to snack on, maybe a sandwich or something sweet to go with the coffee. We went through to the back room and sat on the sofas and were made to feel very uncomfortable because we didn’t want a full meal. I had the menu snatched from my hand as I said I didn’t want a full lunch so we never even got to choose anything to eat, we were then the made to feel worse when our coffees where bought out and a lady I have assumed to be one of the managers started shouting at the foreign girl who bought out our drinks. It was being made clear she wasn’t pleased we were there and only having a drink and no meal, by the time the shouting had stopped everyone was looking at us and the shouting staff members, bare in mind we were actually in the seated area and the staff were in the kitchen with the door open so all could hear and see what was going on. To top all this off the young girl was then sent out to move a whole family while they were eating their meals from a dining table to the sofa area, they had to pick up their own plates and glasses and move, one of the children was only about 4 yrs old and had two glasses to walk through with and another one was only about 3 yrs old had to carry his own glass too.
I have never seen anything like this before, not even in a greasy spoon café would anyone be treated like that.
It gets one star as it is a beautiful place, its just a pity about the staff and I cant comment about the food as we never got to try any of it.

The Hoste Arms pub is actually situated in the town of Burnham Market in Norfolk. It’s a traditional pub that serves outstanding food. It definitely worthy of the name gastro-​pub and has won several awards in the area. It’s not cheap but if you’re looking to splurge it’s great for an evening meal out service is outstanding and the wine list very comprehensive. If all you’re looking for is a pint and some top-​quality bar food it’s good for that too with a decent courtyard and beer garden area out the back. It’s a popular place and parking can get tight at peak times.