Puppetry of the Penis

I wanted to save something special for my 100^th review and what’s more special than a live performance with two nekkid guys on stage handling their meat canes for 50 minutes (in a theater that doesn’t have sticky floors)?
Thanks to Kat F. and the generosity of the Unilocal Weekly sponsors, I was among the lucky handful of Unilocalers who got free tix to see «Puppetry of the Penis: The Ancient Art of Genital Origami» at Elgin & Winter Garden Theatre Centre.
But before the main event, we had to endure 40-​some-​odd minutes of yet another tired-​ass female comedienne’s routine. This time, Shelley «cock and chocolate are all I want for Christmas» Marshall was serving up a big platter of mediocrity. If a raunchy version of the Cathy comics is funny to you, then you might’ve liked her. Personally, Marshall’s brand of humor has me groaning in pain more than laughing in hysterics. She was in her element, though, as she had the almost-​entirely menopausal audience in stitches.
After a long intermission, the evening’s stars took center stage. I was under the impression that the performers are Australian so I was a little bit disappointed when the puppeteers, Christopher Cannon and Rich Binning, turned out to be American. An Aussie accent would’ve made this so much funnier. They’re also much younger (and cuter) than the original performers so I felt a bit like a perv staring at their peckers throughout the show. Apparently, they’re in their early 20s but they look like the fresh-​faced high-​school kids who might shovel your snow this winter.
The title of the act is also a bit misleading; Cannon and Binning do not use puppets. They stand before you completely buck naked and their only «props» are their respective schlongs which they manipulate into various poses. Some music, sound effects, and canned comedic banter intersperses each dick trick and the shapes they create run the gamut. Some are no-​brainers: The Pelican, Yoda, A Man-​gina; others were a «stretch»: The Eiffel Tower, The Windsurfer; and still others had me scratching my head, wondering, «How in the hell???»: The Wristwatch, The Baby Bird, and their pièce de resistance, The Hamburger.
Not knowing how close I’d be to the stage, I brought my binoculars. But I really didn’t need them as we were about six rows back. In addition, the funky junk is displayed on a projection screen magnified large enough so you can see every hair, goose bump, and wrinkle. Kind of gross but these features really came in handy when representing KFC extra crispy chicken.
Like I said, the audience was mostly older women and judging from their reactions (and rather immense proportions), I’d put the majority of them in the cock-​and-​chocolate camp. They were hooting and hollering, practically in tears. One woman was doubled over in so much laughter, she looked like she was going to tumble out of her balcony box seat and go splat on the floor.
Overall, I’m glad the ticket was free because I wouldn’t pay $ 50 for a performance like this. A few of the PotP moves would be sure to amuse as neat parlor tricks but an entire show devoted to them? Meh. Once you get over the shock value, the penis puppetry quickly devolves from phallic Cirque du Soleil into Cirque du So Lame.
P. S. Unilocal is asking, «Good for kids?» I’m going to vote yes, just cuz.

Haha. I think I would give this a 4.5 if there were halves. But since not, it is deemed a rating of 4
SHOCK FACTOR
Incredibly funny. You see 2 young guys (Chris Cannon 24 and Rich Binning 25) strip down naked and play with themselves. I think I was in shock for at least half of the performance. And the other half, I was really embarrassed for them.
OPENING ACT
I think the woman comedian was Ms. Marshall. Really funny. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman comedian live before so that was fresh. A guy in the group I was with totally got the head on the nail when he said she read the audience well. She was going to talk about something bisexual and realized the audience (35−50ish) wasn’t too receptive and quickly changed her routine. I really liked her comedy act but i can see how women comedians could fall into the trap about talking about the same «old woman» jokes (cougars, weight, and flashed the audience her undies) and get boring.
AFTER THE SHOW
After the show was really nice as I was able to chat and take pictures with all 3 performers. Please see pics. What I found hilarious was that Chris and Rich never looked at me in the eye when they spoke. Maybe they were really embarrassed? LOL.
WHAT I LIKED BEST
I thought Rich was absolutely hot-​astic. He was built like a stallion. and had the prettiest face. Too bad he’s married!
They also brought an audience member up on stage! I totally wish I was chosen to go up. Next time i’m going to stand on my seat!
Everyone should definitely see it once. The show was indeed a great laugh. I think the reason I would give it a 4 is because I probably would not want to go see it again. 1 time is enough for me. unless of course it was going to give me a date with Rich… but that’s a whole other story. HA.
on a side note, The Elgin Theatre is absolutely beautiful inside. I give it a 5+ rating!!!