New Tasty Chicken House

Not sure this review is even necessary now that I’ve read through the rest.
Just started working in the area and was looking for a lunch spot. Stepped into this dank, dark «Chicken house». A few people were drinking a lot of beer at the table closest to the window, the rest of the place looked closed.
I walked up the the counter and a young woman looked confuse by my presence. Stupidly I asked about a menu or «anything»?
I was told, the kitchen is closed.
I don’t think the kitchen has ever been open.
So gross. How do these places stay open? Are they just fronts for other activities?

The sign says Tasty Chicken House, the food inspection sign says New Tasty Chicken House. Let’s think about that name:
New — Nothing here is new. On the contrary, everything is old. The building, the furniture inside, the TV, the bench outside, the customers. ESPECIALLY the customers.
Tasty — I suppose the beer and chips could be tasty to some, but it’s tough to stomach anything with the «scenery».
Chicken — There is absolutely no chicken at the New Tasty Chicken House. None
House — As I mentioned — it’s a run down building. I don’t think anybody lives here. At least, I hope not.
The most prominent feature here are the people smoking outside. and the people who have just finished their cigarettes drinking bottles of beer inside. They stare at you with faces that only many years of rough living can create.
This place is beyond the frontier of the wave of gentrification that is sweeping across Leslieville. Its days are numbered. For now, go here if you want to slum it, but you’re not going to have a good time.

One of the great mysteries in my life encompasses just what the hell goes on at The New Tasty Chicken House. I have, only on occasion, been brave enough to casually peep into it’s dirty windows, (ok, well, with sunglasses on, as to avoid eye contact), and have yet to spot a peice of chicken. Or anything that could be considered tasty, for that matter. Even what I did see made me nervous. I think it might be cursed. Grubby tables. Lost souls. Missing teeth. And a juke box? It boggles.
Maybe one day it will be what the once dive bars on Ossington are now, when gentrification takes over the East End. Tasty’s will start offering up a tasty of grub chic to all the cool kids, and we can say that it isn’t the same as it used to be.
Or maybe not.

Yep, no chicken. There are dive bars and there are derelict bars. This is the later. But hey, we all need someplace to drink. Now, I actually know someone who goes here. He’s smart, well read, quite interesting. He’s the guy with the tattered book, a faded black eye, and the perfect, most pinpoint accurate insult waiting for you.
This place is for him, not you. Don’t go. You can’t handle it. It’s too gross, real, and you won’t understand the IOU system. It’s beyond linear thought.

The last review was one of the funniest things I’ve read in ages. No, they don’t serve chicken and I’m not suprirsed that they’re not all that food-​oriented. There are a few similar places along this strip which cater to what could charitably be termed the ‘prolific weekday drinker’. Not sure if TCH is the worst… Teddy’s Sports Bar and Queen’s (yellow sign) a few doors east could give them a run for their money but yeah, the sign is kind of cool. By The Way Café in the Annex used to have an old ‘Chicken’ themed sign and it was kind of charming so I can see how someone might want to hope that this place would offer similar charm. Alas…

DO NOT GO HERE!!!
THEY DO NOT HAVE CHICKEN!!!
Today I biked over to New Tasty Chicken House to check it out because their sign is so endearing. I cannot stress enough, that you NOT GO HERE. If it had been dark out, I would have been scared.
THIS IS NOT AN EATERY. This is a dirty, dirty, dirty dive bar, where my entrance was greeted with ‘isn’t that a pretty new face’ by a man in his 50s with only half his teeth.
THEY ONLY SERVE OLD MILWAUKEE AND DORITOS HERE.
Do not go here. Is the end of my review. NEVER go here. (and they don’t have chicken).