Kyle R. Wanzel, MD

When I nearly cut off my left thumb in The Great Butternut Squash Incident Of 2007™ (NSFL**:
), I had to consult with a plastic surgeon for a seemingly superficial wound that actually required two dozen stitches after we realized the knife had cut to the bone.***
As my thumb healed over the next year, I saw Dr. Wanzel at St. Joseph’s Health Centre, where he monitored the progress to make sure it didn’t stay gruesome. Apparently my healing faculties are top notch, because my thumb fully recovered and so did the nail. But I still don’t have proper feeling in it.
I very, very much looked forward to my visits with Dr. Wanzel, and judging from all the doe-​eyed, bashful and prettified ladies in the waiting room, so did everyone else. Even the hospital staff seemed positively enamoured. Dude’s like a grown up Jonas Brother.
** Not Safe For Lunch (™ Susan C.)
*** Chatelaine tip: poke a few slits into a whole butternut squash and microwave it for four minutes. After it’s softened, the flesh will separate a bit and easily cut/​peel off without any jarring, sudden movements or accidental thumb removal. Voilà!