Lazy Flamingo

Went to Lazy Flamingo just prior to a Black Sabbath concert. The Sabbath music blasting out of the front is what drew us (4 guys) to the place.
The negative:
This place is in the ‘Dive bar’ category. It’s dark, crowded, the bathrooms leave a little to be desired and the beer selection is disappointing. Basically, you have choices from the large beer distributors (Bud Bud Lite, Coors Light, Canadian etc). You’d think a place in the trendy Hess Village would be up on the trends, specifically craft beers. Oh well.
The positive:
This place is a dive bar! It’s a party place! Nothing more, nothing less. And it presents itself as such. THIS IS NOT A FINE DINING ESTABLISHMENT. The clientele were concert goers just wanting a pint and a bite to eat. I ordered the steak sandwich n fries which was pretty damn good! Not a huge portion, but good nonetheless. My buddies had the chicken sandwich and 1 had a burger. They too, thought it good.
On this night, the like-​minded rock crowd were all in a good mood and all on the same page. The place was fun!
Now reading other reviews re: pests etc. I am not surprised. Remember, this place is more of a drinking establishment. If your looking for high end cuisine or ambiance, look elsewhere. Wanna party? Come here.

Surtout né pas venir ici pour déguster votre bière, pour manger quoi que ce soit ou pour faire des rencontres. Ce pub, trop fréquenté par la jeunesse universitaire et péri-​universitaire de Hamilton peut être difficile au premier abord mais si vous voulez écouter des groupes locaux qui ont de la dégaine comme The Zilis, alors installez-​vous et que la musique commence !

About the worst pint and fries I’ve ever had — EVER! The bottle of beer was warm! When we requested a new beer, she only put it on ice. Are you kidding me? And how can you screw up on fries? They came all soft and mushy, nasty as hell! Come here for service with a glare. Large patio and awful music. Guess this is Hamilton standard. Stay away from this rat’s nest they call «The Lazy Flamingo Restaurant». A Unilocaler’s worst nightmare!

Wow. Where to start. The patio itself looks great, and that’s about it. We ordered a beer each and they both arrived warm. We sent them back and they arrived slightly colder but nowhere near cold enough on a warm August evening.
We decided to persevere and ordered some fries and gravy to share — big mistake! The fries arrived hot but limp and soggy, as if they had been cooked for too long in oil that wasn’t hot enough. They were gross from start to finish and the gravy was no better — lumpy and tasteless.
Having had enough, we finished half our beers, paid and left. They really need to step up their game here. What a dump!

If only we had known at the beginning of the meal that the «frickles» we kidded about relentlessly were going to be the highlight of the entire meal.
Such a pity.
While I have had quite a few veggie burgers that were nothing to write home about… this…this was a new creation that could have only been spawned from the depths of an unsavory kitchen. The bun was blackened on the inside (but then covered up in mustard…) & the patty itself was… inappropriate.
I took a bite & set it down, wrinkling my nose. This on top of the always approaching vermin (flies in the drinks, raccoons on the patio) had me waving the white flag & calling it quits.
The management handled it poorly (err, barely?) & we exited, giving thanks that our stomach linings would hopefully recover in a few hours. Ug.
Yes, it could have been worse. They could have punched us in the face.

Would that there were a zero stars option. Since there isn’t, I choose to take this only, lonely, solitary star and chalk it up to success: Well done, Lazy Flamingo, for providing our table with the worst meal of our lives. It’s hard to eff up pretty much every element of a dinner, from the flies floating around in my martini to the burned hamburger buns to the EFFING RACCOON ALMOST FALLING ON MY MOM’S HEAD. But you, Lazy Flamingo, you have managed to reach the zenith of depth. Congratulations.
Our waitress, on the gaffes in placing our food orders:
«Omigod, I’m SO sorry. Um, I can give you this [burned, flavorless, grade F meat] burger at a discount, or you can wait, like, 15 minutes? for your chicken wrap. The burger’s really good though.»
On the salad ordered by my mom that came on my plate after I gave a very specific salad order that was clearly lost in the ether:
[to my mom]: «Um, yeah, I messed that up. But she [me] hasn’t started eating it yet, so just take hers?»
On the curious EFFING RACCOONS sniffing atop the fence that sidled our table:
«Yeah, it’s weird, right? They used to be under the deck stairs, and they just started popping up over there.»
On our obvious displeasure at the end of the meal, which included a private chat with the manager:
«Um, I’m really sorry for everything you guys. You obviously didn’t like your food that much. Yeah. Sorry.»
[pause]
«Bye.»
…
“I guess it could have been worse,” Allison T. sighed. «They could have punched us in the face.»

Just stopped by for a drink and an app on the patio. Still pretty cold to be doing the patio thing, but I am super macho so I can handle it. Decided to grab some cajun fries with bruschetta topping on them… pretty good! And what better to wash it down than with a «classy» pint of 50… really why don’t more people have 50 on tap??? Delicious! Good place for people watching too… I am sure others do it aswell.