Muzz Buzz

The only hangover cure as far as I’m concerned is a big greasy fry followed by a grande Mocha Frappé from Muzz Buzz!

I dropped in at Riverton Shopping centre several minutes ago with the plan to pick up a few of the excellently cheap samosas from the Indian place housed in the complex. Finding that my initial destination was closed until 4PM, my eye was caught by the inviting-​looking Muzz Buzz store in the parking lot.
Having been living in the United States fort the past five years, I have been somewhat out of the loop with the latest developments in Australian franchising, so Muzz Buzz was an exciting and new idea for me. My wife and I are huge fans of the frappé/​smoothie concept and I was charmed by the name (we have a dwarf hamster back in the USA who carries the nickname of «Muzzle» or «Muzz» because of his distinctive nose) — I was sold on this place.
The first thing I did before my return to the car to hit the Muzz Buzz drive-​thru was take a storefront photo for Unilocal.After this I was about to take a closeup of the menu when I got a shock. A girl was yelling at me from the Muzz Buzz service window. «You can’t take photos here!»…
Uh… What?
«You can’t take photos. This is a franchised business and photographs are not allowed!»
«Ah… I was just taking a closeup of the menu so I could…» (at this point I she cut me off; I was going to say «show my wife who is back in the USA»).
«If you want to read the menu you go to the website. It’s all up there!» (If this is Muzz Buzz’s way of getting me to engage with their online presence, it’s certainly a unique approach!)
Now I was moving beyond my initial bewilderment and into rising peevishness. I asked them what they were going to do about it. I was, after all, in a public car park. I said that there might be someone across the road with a telephoto lens. What were they going to do? Call the cops and have them arrest me for photographing a storefront in a public space?
«I’m sorry, you can’t take any photos. It’s company policy!»
Needless to say, after this exchange my desire to purchase anything from this Muzz Buzz, or any location, shifted from profound to less than zero. Instead of being treated as a welcomed customer, I felt like a member of the New York Yacht Club’s intelligence squad trying to sneak a photo of Australia II’s winged keel during the 1983 America’s Cup Challenger Series. All for having out an iPhone and taking a photo — something that, surely, can’t be that suspicious of a sight in 2012.
I mean, seriously guys, you’re going to have a heart attack if anyone ever tells you about Google street view. Why don’t you throw tarps over your storefront if you don’t want anyone to see? In this day and age of social media and review sites like Unilocal,it’s probably something you’re going to have to get used to, and it’s definitely not a very good idea to insult or alienate ANY customer, much less the social media-​aware ones you’re going to be encountering more and more.
After being told off by the girl at the window, I wandered off for a moment to double check the opening time of my samosa dealer, only to discover upon my return that said girl and a colleague were now pacing around outside the store talking furiously on their mobile phones. I am not sure if they had moved on from our little encounter and were merely slacking off with private phone calls on company time, or if they were on the horn to various bosses to let them know that a latter-​day Arthur Slugworth was snooping around trying to filch some Muzz Buzz proprietary secrets. Maybe the font on the menu board is hot property? I dunno.
Bizarre.
Anyway — I wish I could tell you what Muzz Buzz’s products were like because they sure looked interesting; however, I was effectively chased away before I could queue up in my car for an order. Usually I try to avoid posting a Unilocal about a business when I have not actually purchased anything, but when you’re a legit customer and you’re driven away by bizarre and appalling store policy, isn’t that just as important when recommending a business to others?
Muzz Buzz: Time to get with the 21^st century. Hope you like the photo I took of your business. Next time I am down I’ll be sure to bring my full digital rig. Maybe we can even make a video together!