Hog’s Breath Cafe

I’ve eaten here many times for birthdays and just to have dinner with my partner. We’ve only had one bad experience where they got my partners order wrong, but overall the staff are very friendly and helpful and the food is great. The place is always clean and presentable. I highly recommend it. I have never had a problem with a birthday party there. We had my dad’s 80^th and the service was awesome and the food was cooked perfectly, nobody complained.

’ Are you a Frequent Diner?’ I’m quizzed as I step inside.
‘No’
And with no follow up to the question & no info about why I’d want to be a frequent diner I’m shown to my table. I’m left to wonder where those VIPs are seated! Perhaps in an exclusive area with waitresses who smile. Aaaah, maybe I could aspire to be a Frequent Diner !!! My seat is dodgey to say the least, and when a couple are seated behind me I find that whenever the guy moves forward or back my seat lurches with him. Reminds me of a ride at Luna Park!
As soon as my bottom hits the chair and the menu is thrust my way I’m asked what I want to order. A red wine was what I was hanging out for. My 45 minute road trip has just taken over 100 minutes & I’m ready to relax.
Again with the questions.
After I order my wine I ask for a couple of minutes to look over the menu. Sixty seconds later I’m asked again. I explain that I’ve just arrived after a shocker of a drive & am keen to relax with my wine.
Another sweep of the minute hand and my waitress is back. I explain that I haven’t been here before so I’m just seeing what choices I’ve got.
She suggests I have the chicken and yet again I ask for a FEW minutes alone with the menu. I end up ordering the Baby Back Ribs.
My meal comes out quite quickly and I’m happy to eat it as I didn’t have lunch, and there was a good chance there was a blackout at my place because of the storm.
Looking around I was surprised to see how many people had wandered in for a midweek nosh up. As I said, there had been a huge storm which should have deterred all but the most hungry. And I thought the meals were a bit expensive for a restaurant chain.
I’ve taken the literature about how to become a Frequent Diner, but as you have to have six meals here before you qualify for the card, it seems unlikely that I will ever make it to the Elite level in The Home of Hog’spitality.

Seriously the shittest feed ever. Paid so much for the food, lowest quality. Couldn’t even do a medium rare steak, not to mention there was only a spoonful of rice on the plate! Everything was terrible, would’ve been much, much happier at McDonald’s, for sure!
Only good thing was the sour cream on the side.
³⁄₁₀