ALDI

I can’t remember whether it is Aldi or Lidl that was often the punchline of withering British comedian Alan Carr’s jokes but I do know that I’d never stepped foot inside a branch of much maligned supermarket Aldi until Australia’s stupidly few — and attendantly highly priced — supermarkets forced me into it.
Sure, it may not be the most attractive supermarket in Melbourne — there’s something more than a little Germanically austere and food-​stampy about Aldi I confess — but there are two very good reasons to visit this particular Aldi and they’re good enough for me: wine and chocolate.
Firstly, wine. Aldi just so happens to stock cases of pretty awesome cleanskin wine for $ 12. Yes, $ 12. I.e. $ 2 a bottle. Secondly, chocolate. I don’t know what the stuff is called but urban chocolate legend has it that Australian chocolate is laced with some kind of anti-​melting compound that makes its texture strange.
Enter Aldi, which is seemingly the place to go for giant bars of REAL chocolate. Close your eyes, go to Aldi and ask its staff to lead you to the wine and the chocolate. You’ll leave happy, I promise.