The Provincial Hotel

I’m really not a fan of the renovations. This place used to be cosy as a nice place to visit in the afternoon.
It has instead turned into a daytime version of the soulless meat market it turns into at night.
The staff are clueless too. Had never heard of the measurement «pot» and claimed you can’t get Stone and Wood Pacific Ale in Melbourne (FYI it’s wildly available). Even the beer we had didn’t taste right.
To make it worse, music is loud and dreadful.
People watching is the only good thing about this place.

I came here for an event. The event space upstairs was beautiful but people sat on the floor because for a room that could’ve easily held 150 people, they had maybe ten chairs and three small tables, very odd.
The bartenders downstairs were busy. The menu was small, focusing mostly on wine, with a few staple cocktails like a margarita and a Moscow mule.
The quality of the entertainment was what gave this place it’s real charm. Two different singers over the night were wonderful – really incredible live entertainment for free. The level of the music was right, not too loud, and didn’t interrupt the event but still gave the place a bumping vibe.
Definitely a good spot to enjoy live entertainment or host an event.

This is a somewhat quieter, and larger, hotel than some of the other bars on Brunswick Street. There is a decent sized beer garden out the back, and there is also a restaurant here as well. However there is nothing really to set it apart from the other pubs and bars along Brunswick street, and to be honest with you, there are actually quite a few of them. However, the thing that does stand out is that there are no pokies here, which is what I love because it tends to draw a different clientele (though I have yet to find a pub on Brunswick Street that has pokies, not that I go out of my way to look for them).

Horrible staff: indifferent and rude. Clearly they want to fill rooms to capacity and not care about comfort or safety of patrons-​i was shoved violently by clearly drunk man but since we were crowded like sardines, i didn’t fall. I will NEVER return or recommend.

Soooooo slooooooow. 20 minutes for a menu, 40 minutes for food to arrive, 1 meal was wrong so another 15 minutes for that to be replaced whilst the other meal went cold. Replacement meal was wrong again. I had the chicken burger which was actually quite nice except for the roll which tasted stale and sweet like a fast food bun but really nicely seasoned chicken breast. Beef burger, couldn’t tell you as it never came. We were offered a bowl of fries as a condolence whilst we waited for the waitress to find the manager which took another 20 minutes. Eventually we got up to pay, told them flat out we wouldn’t be paying for the beef burger, finally the manager actually came. To her credit she did sort it out quickly, shouting us our entire bill and apologising profusely. She blamed the waitress who brought us our meals saying she was on trial and had just walked out (good move running for it newbie I reckon you’ve dodged a bullet) even though she hadnt even taken our order! It was quite obviously the fault of the original waitress who took our order judging by the bill which had completely the wrong meal printed in the first place. She also seemed completely oblivious to how long she had taken and the fact she’d also never brought the drinks we originally ordered from her.

My fiancé and I held our engagement party upstairs in The Salon on 24^th Feb 2013. The staff made it such a great night & stress free night, with great service was & with a smile plus the good was very tasty. We had over 125ppl upstairs and the atmosphere was awesome. The Provincial were gracious and let us pack up our decorations the next day, which they’d nearly arranged for us to collect. We highly recommend The Provincial to anyone wanting to hold a function there. We were very impressed.

The only part of this pub I can review is the outside, its in need of a paint job.
The reason I cant give all the details is because its nearly impossible to get in (i have seen people inside (but like those holograms in Star trek I am yet to confirm they exist). Have tried several times with a few mates and its always the same answer at the door, «not tonight guys». For a joke we then ask where to go and they always say cape live. This is becoming a bit of a highlight of the night for us now as we now never have any intention of going into the Provincial which is also known as the Cougar Den (some holgrams have told me the older woman likes to frequent this place along with a few dirty old men who like to hang around in the outdoor part at the back). All in all boooo to Provincial and a big thumbs up to Cape Live

I really want to give the Provincial 4 stars, but I just cant quite do it.
The Provincial is great during the daytime — its very relaxed and its lovely how the sun shines in through the big windows. But something changes at 9pm.
At 9pm, the dress code comes into practice — and the dress code is the biggest problem with the place:
The particular dress code itself is not very strict (its something along the lines of «no thongs and no shorts after 9pm»), but the fact that it exists in the first place is the problem I think.
The dress code simply puts relaxed people off coming here. People dont want to risk not being allowed in and thus they go somewhere else. The people that do go in are usually nice and they are often pretty good fun — but they are NOT relaxed — they are far from it!!!
Another turn off is the way the bouncers stand outside the front door — the bouncers themselves seem to be nice guys and Ive never seen them do anything the slightest bit unprofessional or unfriendly — but their stance at the front does not give the place a relaxing feel — they would do better to have them standing inside the front door — its just a little thing but it makes a difference.
The dress code and the placement of the bouncers just doesnt really fit into the relaxed feel of Brunswick St Fitzroy — its a relaxed suburb with relaxed people — the way the Provincial does this is more like the CBD or Chapel Street. It just doesnt suit the suburb.
That said, even though it has these clear faults, its still a pretty good pub and its a place where its easy to meet people and chat and I like it. If it dealt with its uptight points and just relaxed things a bit, then it would easily get 4 stars from me — but while it keeps a bit of a carrot up its arse, it will remain on 3 stars…

I’ve eaten here once, and had quite a few drinks over the years. The food is alright. Nice, even. Not too pricey given the location and the atmosphere of the place, and my steak was cooked nicely.
I have many very hazy memories of Friday and Saturday nights here. I recall a great deal of very cheezy 80’s music, way too much beer (which, let’s face it, is barely enough), and a very messy clientele, which is probably why I was there in the first place.
If you’re doing a pub crawl, this isn’t a bad one to get started at. There’s plenty of other watering holes not terribly far away and you’ll probably have a good night. Or at least a terrible day after.

A Fitzroy landmark, The Grand Old Dame of Brunswick St is that shabby, peeling pub/​bar on the corner of Johnson St. Smack bang in the middle of Brunswick Street’s late night district, the venue is accompanied by a ring of rag-​tag revellers clogging the footpath and a myriad of unsanitary smells come the weekend.
The clientele varies considerably from night to night, from yuppie locals swelling the ranks for Tuesdays’ trivia to your more dishevelled, grungy crowd when there’s a dishevelled, grungy band playing. Accordingly, it’s a bit hit and miss for anyone with very particular taste.
There’s a great drinks list and specials throughout most of the working week. The décor is a great mix of revamped retro aspects with modern elements thrown in for practical measure here and there. There’s also a bottle shop.
All in all, a mixed bag of a pub that’s best saved for weeknights.

The only thing I really genuinely *like* about the Provincial is the peeling, crumbling façade of the building. That’s nice.
Beyond that, it’s pretty much all take it or leave it territory.

I would not choose to go drinking at the Provincial Hotel on a Friday or Saturday night. It gets heaving, drunk and messy very early on, and is not a relaxed environment that I could envisage enjoying (unless I was trollied!).
As for food, there are a couple of options available at the Provincial. There is the restaurant that is fairly upscale which I’m yet to try. Then there is the pub food served in the main bar. The menu is pretty typical but it is kind of pricey compared with similar offerings in the area. The pizzas are probably best value on the menu and are pretty good.
You might want to drink here on a more low key night. And you might also be tempted to get a takeout bottle of wine if you are planning to head home for some drinks.

Located on the corner of Brunswick and Johnston Streets, the Provincial Hotel does see a lot of foot traffic. Known as the Grand Old Dame of Brunswick Street, the venue probably had a great heyday. Unfortunately, that heyday has passed. I wouldn’t choose to go there because there are a lot of tourists and suburbanites.
I know this may read like I’m lifting my nose at tourists and suburbanites, but that’s not case. The Provincial Hotel is great for them on a Friday/​Saturday night because it is packed and it is centrally located. They have a decent wine and beer list and the bar food is good (nothing amazing, but good). But I would never go there then — it’s just not my scene.
However, the plus side — during the week it’s a decent place to go and they have a great trivia night. Also, they are a bottle shop! When I’m feeling lazy and don’t want to go to the Evelyn Hotel or McCoppins for booze, at least the Provincial Hotel is nearby.